Friday, August 31

Wednesday, August 29

Chinese Zodiac

	Rat ( 1912 - 1924 - 1936 - 1948 - 1960 - 1972 - 1984 ) You are imaginative, charming, and truly generous to the person you love. However, you have a tendency to be quick-tempered and overly critical. You are also inclined to be somewhat of an opportunist. Born under this sign, you should be happy in sales or as a writer, critic, or publicist. Some Rats: Charlotte Bronte, Truman Capote, Catherine I, Mata Hari, Wolfgang Mozart, William Shakespeare, George Washington.
	Ox ( 1913 - 1925 - 1937 - 1949 - 1961 - 1973 - 1985 ) A born leader, you inspire confidence from all around you. You are conservative, methodical, and good with your hands. Guard against being chauvinistic and always demanding your own way. The Ox would be successful as a skilled surgeon, general, or hairdresser. Some Oxen: NapoleonBonaparte, Walt Disney, Clark Gable, Richard Nixon, Rosa arks, Sylvia Porter, Vincent Van Gogh.
	Tiger ( 1914 - 1926 - 1938 - 1950 - 1962 - 1974 - 1986 You are sensitive, emotional, and capable of great love. However, you have a tendency to get carried away and be stubborn about what you think is right; often seen as a "Hothead" or rebel. Your sign shows you would be excellent as a boss, explorer, race car driver, or matador. Some Tigers: Judy Blume, Emily Bronte, Emily Dickinson, Isadora Duncan, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Mary Harris (Mother) Jones, Barbara McClintock, Marilyn Monroe, Marco Polo, Beatrix Potter.
	Rabbit ( 1915 - 1927 - 1939 - 1951 - 1963 - 1975 - 1987 )
	Dragon ( 1916 - 1928 - 1940 - 1952 - 1964 - 1976 - 1988 ) Full of vitality and enthusiasm, the Dragon is a popular individual even with the reputation of being foolhardy and a "big mouth" at times. You are intelligent, gifted, and a perfectionist but these qualities make you unduly demanding on others. You would be well-suited to be an artist, priest, or politician. Some Dragons: Louisa May Alcott, SusanB. Anthony, Joan of Arc, Pearl Buck, Sigmund Freud, Theodore Seuss Geisel, John Lennon, Florence Nightingale, Pat Schroeder, Mae West.
\	Snake ( 1917 - 1929 - 1941 - 1953 - 1965 - 1977 - 1989 ) Rich in wisdom and charm, you are romantic and deep thinking and your intuition guides you strongly. Avoid procrastination and your stingy attitude towards money. Keep your sense of humor about life. The Snake would be most content as a teacher, philosopher, writer, psychiatrist, and fortune teller. Some Snakes: Clara Barton, Liz Claiborne, Charles Darwin, Mary Baker Eddy, Elizabeth I, Fannie Farmer, Anne Frank, Mahatma Gandhi, Ellen Goodman, Carole King, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Edgar Allen Poe.
	Horse ( 1918 - 1930 - 1942 - 1954 - 1966 - 1978 - 1990 ) Your capacity for hard work is amazing. You are your own person-very independent. While, intelligent and friendly, you have a strong guard againstbeing egotistical. Your sign suggests success as an adventurer, scientist, poet, or politician. Some Horses: Louisa May Alcott, Chopin, Davy Crockett,Ella Fitzgerald, Aretha Franklin, Sandra Day O'Connor, Rembrandt, Teddy Roosevelt.
	Goat ( 1919 - 1931 - 1943 - 1955 - 1967 - 1979 - 1991 Except for the knack of always getting off on the wrong foot with people, the Goat can be charming company. You are elegant and artistic but the first to complain about things. Put aside your pessimism and wory and try to be less dependent on material comforts. You would be best as an actor, gardener, or beachcomber. Some Goats: Rachel Carson, Michelangelo, Mark Twain, Rudolph Valentino, Barbara Walters, Orville Wright.
	Monkey ( 1920 - 1932 - 1944 - 1956 - 1968 - 1980 - 1992 ) You are a very intelligent and a very lever wit. Because of your extraordinary nature and magnetic personality, you are always well-liked. The Monkey,however, must guard against begin an opportunist and distrustful of other people. Your sign promises success in any field you try. Some Monkeys:Julius Caesar, Bette Davis, Annie Oakley, Eleanor Roosevelt, Betsy Ross, Diana Ross, Elizabeth Taylor, Harry S. Truman, Leonardo da Vinci, Alice Walker.
	Rooster ( 1921 - 1933 - 1945 - 1957 - 1969 - 1981 - 1993 The Rooster is a hard worker; shrewd and definite in decision making, often speaking his mind. Because of this, you tend to seem boastful to others. You are a dreamer, flashy dresser, and extravagant to an extreme. Born under this sign you should be happy as a restaurant owner, publicist, soldier, or world traveler. Some Roosters: Virginia Apgar, Catherine the Great, Amelia Earhart, Rudyard Kipling, Groucho Marx, Peter Ustinov.
	Dog ( 1910 - 1922 - 1934 - 1946 - 1958 - 1970 - 1982 ) The Dog will never let you down. Born under this sign you are honest, and faithful to those you love. You are plagued by constant worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to be a fault finder, however. You would make an excellent businessman, activist, teacher, or secret agent. Some Dogs: Cher, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, Dorothea Dix, Benjamin Franklin, George Gershwin, Jane Goodall, Herbert Hoover, Shirley McLaine, Golda Meir, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Socrates.
\	Boar ( 1911 - 1923 - 1935 - 1947 - 1959 - 1971 - 1983 ) You are a splendid companion, an intellectual with a very strong need to set difficult goals and carry them out. You are sincere, tolerant, and honest but by expecting the same from others, you are incredibly naive. Your quest for material goods could be your downfall. The Boar would be best in the arts as an entertainer, or possibly a lawyer. Some Boars: Lucille Ball, Ernest Hemingway, Mahalia Jackson, Albert Schweitzer, Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK THESE DRINKS IN A PUB ... (NOT AT HOME)

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don't.

WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... And you're in.

SPIRITS SUCH AS CC, WILD TURKEY, SOUTHERN COMFORT
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually - you're in!

CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, COWBOYS, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait......

SPIRITS SUCH AS JACKS, BEAM & BUNDY
Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they'll think you're a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!

IF MEN DRINK in a PUB.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

WINE
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY/JACK DANIELS
He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JIM BEAM
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

Tuesday, August 28

CHINESE PROVERBS

CHINESE PROVERBS

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
* ~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*Man who eat many prunes get good run for money
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth. *~*~*~*^*~*~ *~*~*~* * War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* ´Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. *~**~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~* Now send it to more people. Nothing will happen but people will be laughing

Photoshop

Monday, August 27

La cucaraja

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

New Challenge

Sunday, August 26

4 NATIONS CUP

4 NATIONS CUP TOURNEY

4 TOURNEYS EVENT STARTING NEXT MONTH

	UK GRAND PRIX - 100 GIN ONLY
	PORTUGAL GRAND PRIX - 100 RUNS GIN ONLY
	CANADA GRAND PRIX - 100 SETS GIN ONLY
	USA GRAND PRIX - 100 NO ROYALS GIN ONLY

GRAND PRIX TOURNEY WINNER - 10 pts

SECOND PLACE - 5 pts

REGISTERED PLAYERS - 2 pts

THE 4 NATIONS CUP WINNER WILL BE THE PLAYER WITH MOST POINTS AFTER THE 4 TOURNEYS ARE COMPLETED.

GRAND SLAM WINNER - PLAYER WHO WINS ALL THE 4 TOURNEYS (VERY DIFICULT AND A CHALLENGE)

AMERICAN CUP WINNER - WINNER OF USA AND CANADA TOURNEYS

EUROPEAN CUP WINNER - WINNER OF PORTUGAL AND UNITED KINGDOM TOURNEYS

International Disadvantaged People's Day

T oday is International Disadvantaged People's Day.

Please send an encouraging message to a disadvantaged friend... just as I've done.

I don't care if you lick windows,
take the special bus
or occasionally shit yourself...

You hang in there sunshine,
you're frigging special.

Dogs and Humans

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have

About Humans

1. Blaming your farts on me...
not funny... not funny at all !!!

2.. Yelling at me for barking..
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk,
then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves
balancing food on my nose...
stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo
what a proud moment for the top of the
food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",
then acting surprised when I freak out
every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9Dog sweaters.
Hello ???,
Haven't you noticed the fur?

10.. How you act disgusted
when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth,
you're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these thing's,
We both know who's boss here!!!
You don't see me picking up your poop
do you ???

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!

Small cats

Zune Phone

Saturday, August 25

birthday cake for Geordie

Pets

Wake Me Up before you go go

Friday, August 24

Poem

TODAYS INSPIRATION

DON'T GROW TOO OLD

Don't ever grow too old for birthdays,

Fun-things that you used to do,

Don't give up your dreams because you

Feel that they have not come true.

Don't forget the sound of laughter,

Or the love in someone's eyes,

Don't trade memories for pleasures,

All that in a moment dies.

Don't give up your zest for living,

Saying you are much too old,

Is this what you feel, or is it

Something that you have been told?

There's a valley deep within us,

Where there is an eternal Spring,

Where there is no sound of sorrow,

And the birds forever sing.

Though your gait is not as steady now,

As once it used to be,

And your vision's clouding over things

You used to clearly see,

Do not let the weight of decades,

Turn you into bitter gall,

For with age there comes a wisdom,

That is a blessing to us all.

Hold your years up like a banner,

Wave it brightly in the sun,

When folks tell you life is over,

Tell them it has just begun.

Loneliness can never touch you,

If you won't allow it to,

And in sharing love with others,

.... God will give it back to you.

~Author Unknown

Aging is a Privilege

Remember Aging is a Privilege"

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my
Reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have
Always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my
Body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I
Am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks
Like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family
For less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've
Become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become
My own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging
Body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
Despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is
Just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important
Things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart
Not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning
Gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep
Grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have die before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about
What other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even
Earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.
I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
But while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could
Have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert
Every single day. (If I feel like it)

This Day in History, August 24

On August 24th, 1853, potato chips were first prepared.

Other Notable Events for August 24

In 79 A.D., thousands died and the Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum were buried by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in Italy.

In 1814, the British captured Washington and burned the Capitol building and the White House.

In 1932, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly non-stop across the United States.

In 1987, a U.S. Appeals court in Cincinnati ruled public schools could require students to study textbooks not accepted by religious fundamentalists.

In 1990, Irish-British hostage Brian Keenan, held by pro-Iranian Muslim extremists in Lebanon for more than four years, was freed.

In 1991, Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev quit as general secretary of the Communist Party central committee. He also ordered his Cabinet to resign.

In 1992, Hurricane Andrew smashed into Florida south of Miami with sustained winds of up to 145 mph, carving a path of destruction.

In 1995, Beijing convicted and then expelled Chinese-American human rights activist Harry Wu, arrested in June while trying to enter China from Kazakhstan.

In 1996, four women became students at The Citadel, a military school in South Carolina that had fought in court to remain all-male.

In 2003, a Newsweek poll indicated that Americans were growing increasingly wary of U.S. Military involvement in Iraq.

In 2004, two Russian passenger jetliners crashed within minutes of each other after taking off from Domodedovo Airport in Moscow. A total of 89 people were killed.

In 2005, U.S. President George Bush vowed in an Idaho speech that he would not retreat from Iraq or the rest of the Middle East until U.S. Troops "win the war on terror."

Also in 2005, a Peruvian passenger plane crashed in the jungle of central Peru, killing at least 40 people.

In 2006, Pluto, the small, distant planet that has been around officially since 1930, was demoted to a non-planet status when the International Astronomical Union voted to adopt a new definition of "planet" which excludes Pluto.

Notable Birthdays, August 24

Those born on this date include:
- Pioneer British abolitionist William Wilberforce in 1759
- Joshua Lionel Cowen, inventor of the electric toy train, in 1880
- English author and parodist Max Beerbohm in 1872
- Country music publisher Fred Rose in 1897
- Argentine poet and author Jorge Luis Borges in 1899
- Actor Steve Guttenberg in 1958 (age 49)
- Former baseball star Cal Ripken Jr. In 1960 (age 47)

- GEORDIE GINA

Classic Quotes by Jean Rhys (1894-1979) Welsh-Dominican writer

I often want to cry. That is the only advantage women have over men - at least they can cry.

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Reading makes immigrants of us all. It takes us away from home, but more important, it finds homes for us everywhere.

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The feeling of Sunday is the same everywhere, heavy, melancholy, standing still. Like when they say, "As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end."

------------ --------- ---

She could give herself up to the written word as naturally as a good dancer to music or a fine swimmer to water. The only difficulty was that after finishing the last sentence she was left with a feeling at once hollow and uncomfortably full. Exactly like indigestion.

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We can't all be happy, we can't all be rich, we can't all be lucky - and it would be so much less fun if we were ... Some must cry so that others may be able to laugh the more heartily.

------------ --------- ---

I am sad, sad as a circus-lioness, sad as an eagle without wings, sad as a violin with only one string and one that is broken, sad as a woman who is growing old.

------------ --------- ---

Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It's more often a succession of jerks.