Thoughts

Thoughts of a man.....

1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a
good memory. I am not able to remember, what I
chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Everytime you ask for sex,
she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men - "don't" and "stop", unless they
are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next
to best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri
Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't
have a good partner, you'd better have a good
hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the
dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to
sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only
down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the
whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and
she was happy with the Thing......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in
a mans life?

A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye
contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your
troubles to bed", many men still sleep with
their wives !!!