Beautiful Fantasy Images and Illusions

clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com Reflections of the Mind clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com

If women rule the World

clipped from humour.200ok.com.au If women ruled the world...

Dogs

how will Diabolic die

You scored as Stabbed. You will die from being stabbed. Yay. Stabbed 73% Suffocated 53% Bomb 40% Eaten 40% Cut Throat 40% Disappear 40% Drowning 40% Suicide 40% Natural Causes 40% Disease 47% Accident 40% Gunshot 33% Poison 20% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com

Cartoon

Pics from China

What is the definition of?

Amnesia?...What did you just ask me?

Apathy?...I don't care.

Bigotry?...I' m not going to tell someone like you.

Egotistical? ...I'm the best person to answer that question.

Evasive?...Go do your homework.

Flatulent?.. .That question really stinks!

Ignorance?.. .I don't know.

Indifference? ...It doesn't matter.

Influenza?.. .You've got to be sick to ask me that question.

Insomnia?... I stayed awake all last night thinking of the answer.

Irreverent?. ..I swear to God, you ask too many questions!

Narcissism?. ..Before I answer, tell me, don't I look great?

Over-Protective? ...I don't know if you're ready for the answer.

Paranoid?... You probably think I don't know the answer, do you?

Procrastination? ...I'll tell you tomorrow.

Repetitive?. ..I already told you the answer once before.

Self-Centered? ...Well, I know the answer, that's all that matters.

Suspicious?. ..Why are you asking me all these questions?

sexy copy machine

Sexy Copy Machine

Zimmers again

another for mothers day

More cartoons

Cartoon

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY SHINERS

I OWE MY MOTHER


1 My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way"

18. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

22. My Favorite: My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

23. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

another message to Geordie

Secret message from Geordie

Once upon a time

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time leadership mattered, now dealership rules the world.

*********

Once upon a time quality was craftsman's pride, now it is a departmental mess.

*********

Once upon a time mouse was an untouchable mammal, now it is handheld pest.

*********

Once upon a time wisdom was cultivated by wise people, now it is flashed on T-shirts.

*********


Once upon a time teacher tought and students learnt, now teacher trade and students consume.

*********

Once upon a time population was a problem, now it is a flourishing mass market.

*********

Once upon a time competition brought out the best, now it brings out the worst in people.

*********

Once upon a time there was a golden rule, now if you have gold, you rule.

*********

Once upon a time truth telling was good for your soul, now it is bad for promotion.

*********

Once upon a time success meant living by ideals, now it is about using above all principles.

*********

Once upon a time beauty was in the eye of the beholder, now it is booming business.

*********

Mother day

mother day

cartoons

Photobucket Album

cartoon

Lisbon

About death

clipped from www.shorttext.com 1. When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go -- the first is usually sight, followed by taste, smell and touch 2. A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it has been decapitated 3. 100 people choke to death on pens each year. One is more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a spider 4. Alexander's funeral would have cost $600 million today. A road from Egypt to Babylon was built to carry his body 5. When inventor Thomas Edison died in 1931, his friend Henry Ford captured his last dying breath in a bottle 6. Over 2500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products made for right-handed people 7. It takes longer than ever before a body to decompose due to preservatives in the food that we eat these days 8. An eternal flame lamp at the tomb of a Buddhist priest in Nara, Japan has kept burning for 1,130 years 9. Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry is the first person to have his ashes put aboard a rocket and 'buried' in space

Suicide gin tourney tomorrow at 5.30

The Encyclopedia of Life

Pets

Geordie needs cofffee !!!!

clipped from www.ineedcoffee.com Roasting Brewing Recipes Comics Cafe Culture Health History Agriculture News Business Contribute About INC Newsletter The Coffee Muggers, Wake Up With Me, and Wake Up and Smell the Coffee are three of the creations of artist Larry Stevens. His full gallery is visible at the Fulcrum Gallery. Home / Cafe Culture /

Teacher responses

>TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
>
>MARIA: Here it is.
>
>TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
>
>CLASS: Maria
>_______________________________
>
>TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
>
>JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
>__________________________________________
>
>TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
>
>GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
>
>TEACHER: No, that's wrong
>
>GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
>
>____________________________________________
>
>TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
>
>DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
>
>TEACHER: What are you talking about?
>
>DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
>__________________________________
>
>TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
>didn't have ten years ago.
>
>WINNIE: Me!
>__________________________________________
>
>TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
>
>GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
>_________________________________
>
>TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
>tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
>didn't punish him?
>
>LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
>______________________________________
>
>TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
>eating?
>
>SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
>______________________________
>
>TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
>your brother's. Did you copy his?
>
>CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.
>___________________________________
>
>TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
>people are no longer interested?
>
>HAROLD: A teacher.

Who wants to be a milionaire?

Good luck Shiners

Feminist Quotes 2

clipped from www.feministezine.com I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist. ~Sally Kempton, attributed I am working for the time when unqualified blacks, browns, and women join the unqualified men in running our government. ~Cissy Farenthold There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody. ~Florynce Kennedy I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tunafish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. ~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison I asked a Burmese why women, after centuries of following their men, now walk ahead. He said there were many unexploded land mines since the war. ~Robert Mueller Be plain in dress, and sober in your diet; In short, my deary, kiss me, and be quiet. ~Mary Wortley Montagu, A Summary of Lord Lyttelton's Advice The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source. ~Lucretia Mott

Battle of Sexes today....Mathematical proof that girls are evil

clipped from en.wikipedia.org Girls require time and money: "Time is money": So girls are money squared: "Money is the root of all evil": So girls are evil:

Nice pictures

clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from website.lineone.net clipped from mathworld.wolfram.com A fractal is an object or quantity that displays self-similarity, in a somewhat technical sense, on all scales. The object need not exhibit exactly the same structure at all scales, but the same "type" of structures must appear on all scales. A plot of the quantity on a log-log graph versus scale then gives a straight line, whose slope is said to be the fractal dimension. The prototypical example for a fractal is the length of a coastline measured with different length rulers. The shorter the ruler, the longer the length measured, a paradox known as the coastline paradox.