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TOP 10 MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN A WOMAN'S LIFE
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10. The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"
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9. The Dentist becuase he says, "Open Wide"
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8. The Hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased, or blown?"
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7. The Milkman because he says, "Do you want it put in front, or in
back?"
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6. The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you got it all in,
you'll love it."
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5. The Banker because he says, "If you take it out to soon, you'll lose
interest"
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4. The Police Officer because he says, "Spread 'em"
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3. The Mailman because he always delivers his package.
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2. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
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And the number 1 person that is important in a woman's life:
The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and
always eats what he shoots.
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TOP 10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T

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10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
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9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
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8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
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7. Look at the size of his putter
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6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
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5. Mind if I join your threesome?
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4. Stand with your back turned and drop it
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3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
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2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
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And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
Hold up...I need to wash my balls first

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TOP 10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN LAW BUT AREN'T
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10. Have you looked through her briefs?
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9. He is one hard judge!
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8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
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7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
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6. Is it a penal offense?
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5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
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4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
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3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
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2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:

Think you can get me off?

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TOP 10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THE OFFICE BUT AREN'T
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10. I need to whip it out by 5!
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9. Mind if I use your laptop?
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8. Put it in my box before I leave.
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7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
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6. I want it on my desk, NOW!
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5. HMMMMMMMMMMMM. ....... I think it's out of fluid.
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4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
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3. It's an entry-level position.
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2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
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And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:

It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!
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