Trick-Or-Treating

Top 10 signs you're too old to go Trick-Or-Treating

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Halloween game

Happy Halloween

 

 

 

 

Tractor Square Dance

Girls dont fart

Sampras

Facebook in Canada

Kitty clumpsy

Facebook Help videos

Hat

 

 

 

 

Maxine again!

 

 

 

 

Maxine

 

 

 

 

Marriage

"MARRIAGE DEFINITIONS"



BACHELOR:

1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman

miserable.
2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

3) A man who never makes the same mistake once.

4) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her

alimony.
5) A person who believes in life, liberty, and the

happiness of pursuit.
6) The only man who has never told his wife a lie.


BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind

her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife
whereby they agree to let her have her own way.


DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look

fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: 1) A husband who steadies the stepladder so that

his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling. 2) A
man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to

her so that she can easily pick it up.


HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she

doesn't do it.

HUSBAND: 1) A man who gives up privileges he never realized

he had. 2) A person who is the boss of his house and has

his wife's permission to say so.

=

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits

the wife to beat the husband to the draw.


LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.


MISS: A title with which we brand unmarried women to
indicate that they are in the market.


MISTRESS: Something between a mister and a mattress.


MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace

of mind by giving him a piece of hers.


MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings,

and no recognition.


SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all

the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in
the first place.


WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having

anything to wear at the very same time that she complains

about not having enough room in the closet.

"MARRIAGE DEFINITIONS"


BACHELOR:



1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman

miserable.

2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

3) A man who never makes the same mistake once.

4) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her

alimony.
5) A person who believes in life, liberty, and the

happiness of pursuit.

6) The only man who has never told his wife a lie.


BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind

her.


COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife

whereby they agree to let her have her own way.


DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look

fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: 1) A husband who steadies the stepladder so that
his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling. 2) A
man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to
her so that she can easily pick it up.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she
doesn't do it.

HUSBAND: 1) A man who gives up privileges he never realized
he had. 2) A person who is the boss of his house and has
his wife's permission to say so.
=
JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits
the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MISS: A title with which we brand unmarried women to
indicate that they are in the market.

MISTRESS: Something between a mister and a mattress.


MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace

of mind by giving him a piece of hers.


MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings,

and no recognition.


SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all

the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in

the first place.


WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having

anything to wear at the very same time that she complains

about not having enough room in the closet.

Happy halloween

www.kiwee.com

Hey Shiners

Hi Shiners !!!!

www.kiwee.com

WOMEN

Facts On Figures :

There are 3 billion women who don't look like super models

and only eight who do.
Did you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14? (She also did not have good hygiene?) Can you believe that?


If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all FOURS due to her proportions!


The average woman weighs 144 pounds, and wears between a size 12-14.

One out of every 4 college-aged women has an eating disorder.


The Models in the magazines are AIRBRUSHED!! ! - NOT Perfect!!

A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes spent looking at a Fashion Magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed , guilty and SHAMEFUL!

Models 20 years ago weighed 8% Less than the average Woman.

Today they weigh 23% less......

~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..

An English professor wrote the words: "WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING" on the blackboard,
and directed the students to punctuate it correctly .

The men wrote: "Woman, WITHOUT HER MAN, is nothing."

The women wrote: "WOMAN!! WITHOUT HER, man is nothing!"

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Y Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE Y Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE Y That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Y Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Y Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Y Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE Y Wish I could talk it over with Mom. . .

***Please send this to all the phenomenal women you know today in celebration of Women's History Month.



If you do, something good will happen...
YOU will boost another woman's self-esteem

Video fun

You are beatutiful

Fight for Kisses

sCREAM

Theme Songs from Bible

Theme Songs For Bible Characters

Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"

Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"

Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"

Esther: "I Feel Pretty"

Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"

Moses: "The Wanderer"

Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"

Samson: "Hair"

Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night"

niel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

Joshua: "Good Vibrations"

Peter: "I'm Sorry"

Esau: "Born To Be Wild"

Jeremiah: "Take This Job and Shove It"

Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!"

The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star"

Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale"

Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"

Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"

Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"

Mom

Definitions By Mom


AIRPLANE:
What Mom impersonates to get a 1-year-old to eat strained beets.


APPLE:
Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.


BABY:
1) Dad, when he gets a cold.

2) Mom's youngest child, even if he's 42.


BATHROOM:
A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom tobe
self-cleaning.


BECAUSE:
Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be
explainedlogically.


BED & BREAKFAST:
Two things the kids will never make for themselves.


CAR POOL:
Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going
the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar.


COUCH POTATO:
What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner.


DATE:
Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the
kids in a different setting.


DRINKING GLASS:
Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.


DUST RAGS:
See "DAD'S UNDERWEAR."


EAR:
A place where kids store dirt.


ENERGY:
Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to
do something.


EYE:
The highly susceptible optic nerve which, according to Mom, can be
"put out" by anything from a suction-arrow to a carelessly handled
butter knife.


FOOD:
The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for
dinner tonight?" See "SARCASM"


GENIUSES:
Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.


HAMPER:
A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not
containing, dirty clothing.


HANDI-WIPES:
Pants, shirtsleeves, drapes, etc.


HINDSIGHT:
What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.


ICE:
Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if
kids or husbands ever filled the things instead of putting them back
in the freezer empty.


JEANS:
Which, according to kids, are appropriate for just about any
occasion, including church and funerals.


JUNK:
Dad's stuff.


KISS:
Mom medicine.


LEMONADE STAND:
Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar,
lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice
for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of
15 cents.


MAYBE:
No.


OCEAN:
What the bathroom floor looks like after bath night for kids,
assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy
boats, cars and animals.


OPEN:
The position of children's mouths when they eat in front of company.


OVERSTUFFED RECLINER:
Mom's nickname for Dad.

Game

Link: PlayMyGame

Welcome to the Jungle

Go to ImageShack® to Create your own Slideshow

Another Facebook song

clipped from www.youtube.com

Beautiful -

Facebook

Party Steak

Management Exam

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional manager. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?


Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been paying attention? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

Monkey and the dog