Signs

This a great video with nice song in the end

Karkey dog

American tennis fans, are you ready?

The bride

Telemarketing

clipped from itsringing.blogspot.com 1) After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you. 2) Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. 3) Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. 4) Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. 5) Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

Tub timer for Diabolic

Ljveen Garden

Slave Kitten

clipped from www.funnyjunk.com

Maxine

Fruits

How To Throw REGULAR Playing Cards REALLY HARD

How to throw a regular playing card like a PRO or like GAMBIT from Xmen. Well the cards wont explode or anything, but i'm sure it'd cause some pain. Distances of over 70 feet can be reached with this method. This video will teach you how to throw one or even THREE cards SIMULTANEOUSLY. play safe.

read more | digg story

Condi and Bush

Maxine

Small forgot - remember song

Friendship

Friendship

If there is one ingredient which adds
Warmth and love to our lives...
It is friendship.

If there is one relationship to help
Us through all the others...
It is friendship.

Friends surround us with the beauty
Of there caring. With friends we can
Share what we see, what we feel,
And what we love.

Friends help us with our problems
Because they listen. And as they listen
We begin to hear the language of...
Our own hearts.

With friends we can walk along the
Remembered paths of our lives and
Completely share our experiences.

With friends we can work the soil of
Forgotten dreams that needed to be
Tended and nurtured once again.

With friends we can plant the seed
Of our hearts new dreams.

We can always return to a friend like
Going back to a special place...
And find the same warm feeling
Unchanged by time or distance.

Life gives us friends so we can share
The precious times and memorable moments
Of being children, and teenagers,
And adults, and parents and grandparents.

Life gives us friends so we can share
The growing up...and growing down and old.

With friends we have a place to go to be
Accepted and understood.
Together we can laugh.
Together we can cry.
Our thoughts are heard,
Our feelings are held
In the heart of a friend.

With friends our lives are made
More full, more rich, more open,
Beautiful and blessed!

Geordie

I want to meet Maxine

I knew it was going to happen, but we just didn't know when. Here it is! Men's answer to Maxine.
MAX

Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------- ------------ --------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
------------ --------- --------- --------- - -------- --------- --------- -
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
Build up the required pressure.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------! ------------ --------- -
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,

and still think they are sexy.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth!


AND MAXINE SAYS.....

Marriage Pie Recipe

Marriage Pie Recipe

5 Tablespoons of Understanding
1 Cup of Tolerance
1/2 Cup of Sweetness
4 Tablespoons of Like
6 Tablespoons of Love
1/2 Cup of Gentleness
4 Tablespoons of Sensitivity
Season with Desire, Need, Commitment

Directions:

Start with the basic ingredients of Love and Like, seasoned with Desire, Need and Commitment, then add 1/2 cup of Gentleness and stir until soft, but peaking. Add tablespoons of Sensitivity until very smooth, then continue to add Tolerance until all the lumps are gone. Mix "briskly" until thick. Cook slowly - for too much heat too quickly, may scorch it, damaging your previous efforts. If this occurs, remove the outer shell, re-stir and add the desired ingredients to accomplish smoothness, but peaking. Re-cook per directions, and remember - Only the outer shell was damaged, the basic ingredients remain. The quantity may be slightly reduced, but not the quality. Apply maximum pressure until completely done and firm.

Note: It is perfectly acceptable to add a pinch of argument and, now and then, discontent . . . this adds flavoring and makes appreciation of the dessert.

Kitty Hats

Maxine

Pictures

Geordie Hand

Amazing Painting

Winners of the "I Look Like My Dog" Contest

Cartoon

40 sec.............85 years

Chances of a Man winning an argument

Maxine

Funny George Bush

FRIDAY 13TH

Paraskevidekatriaph obia And Friday The 13th AGAIN!

July 13th 2007 06:14

Paraskevidekatriaph obia - try saying that 3 times fast!

Paraskevidekatriaph obia is the name for the phobia or fear of Friday the 13th.

It seems all that long ago we were going through Friday the 13th and in all reality it really wasn't. Only 3 months ago did this day which can strike so much fear into the hearts of paraskevidekatriaph obics previously occur.

Friday the thirteenth is considered the unluckiest of days, unless you were born on Friday the 13th. If you were born on this day then Friday the 13th is actually your lucky day.

Triskaidekaphobia on the other hand is the name for the fear of the number 13.

* More than 80 percent of high-rises lack a 13th floor.
* Many airports skip the 13th gate.
* Airplanes have no 13th aisle.
* Hospitals and hotels regularly have no room number 13.
* Italians omit the number 13 from their national lottery.
* On some Italian streets, the house between number 12 and 14 is addressed as 12 and a half.
* Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue

FREEZER FOODS

ICE CREAM - If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.

FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

IN THE FRIDGE:

EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS - Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.
Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway -- if you can dig down and still find something non-green, bon appetite!

MEAT - If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, toss the meat.

UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food.


ON THE SHELF:


CANNED GOODS - Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of ... Very carefully.

POTATOES - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

THE GAG TEST - Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are good indications that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
You may wish to discard it at this time, depending on your interest in pharmaceuticals.

CEREAL: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date, or when it will no longer fall out of the box by itself.

FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly out when you open it.

PRETZELS: Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if they can no longer be picked up without falling apart.
Otherwise, there's nothing to stop you from eating a pretzel that the Pharaoh put down only 4000 years ago.

RAISINS: Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth.

SALT: It never spoils. However, if you can't chip off reasonable amounts from the block, maybe another box is in order, as fresh salt usually pours.

SPICES: Most spices cannot die, they just fade away.
They will be fine on your shelf, forever.
Put them in your will.

VINEGAR: If your grandmother made it, it is probably still good.

EXPIRATION DATES: This is not a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries.
Even dry foods older than you are may be ready to replace.
Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

For Romeo and Juliet

BOobs

CARTOONS

CARTOON

CARTOONS

CARTOON

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HINDSY

Your Birthdate: July 12

You are certain and confident when you choose to love someone. Even though your romantic choices may be unconventional - you stand behind them. Your friends never know you as well as a romantic partner does. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1 You are most compatible with people born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, and 30th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Trivia

Sunday, bloody sunday GEORGE BUSH

More Ilusions

Optical Illusions

Geordie house

I wonder why?

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?


2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?


3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?


4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?


5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?


6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?


7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?


8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?


9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?


10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?


11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light?"


12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?


13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?


14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?


15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?


16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?


17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?


18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?


20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?


21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?


22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?



23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?


24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?


25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

LJVEEN WC