Confused?????

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. How can there possibly be jumbo shrimp?

Ketchup Heinz

GEORDIE'S PETS

Memorial day

clipped from www.coxandforkum.com

Maxine

Hello Sunshine

Great video Bad Day....!

Funny pic

CARTOONS

MAXINE

WC

Dear Eliot - 99 Balloons

Bird s... on Bush

Another B-day song for me, tx everyone

Maxine

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIABOLIC

Your Birthdate: May 25

DIABOLIC You excel at anything difficult or high tech. In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek. It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with. Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots! Your strength: Your unfailing logic Your weakness: Loving machines more than people Your power color: Tan Your power symbol: Pi Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Diabolic Horoscope

Word attack

clipped from web.mit.edu Famous Dog Quotes "Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown "In dog years, I'm dead." -- Unknown "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron "Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat "Dogs love us,but they are very observant animals. I'm sure they notice that we keep the best food for ourselves." -- Markoff Chaney "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -- Andrew A. Rooney "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -- Unknown "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill

Jehovah's Witnesses

clipped from web.mit.edu How To Get Rid of Jehovah's Witnesses Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry (immediate results). Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of charity lasts. Answer every one of their questions with: "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God. Excuse yourself from your living room (or wherever)... and don't come back. Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the "Alpha & Omega's" identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.

Pretzels

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for

Twenty-five cents each. Every day a young lawyer would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed her pretzel

Stand, he would leave her a quarter but never take a pretzel.



This went on for more than five years. The two of them never

Spoke. One day, as the lawyer passed the old lady's stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel woman spoke to him.



"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has gone up to thirty-

Five cents."

Maxine

Cartoon

Cartoon

Car Alarm

Holy[i] Cow

clipped from www.jammag.com

Nice imagination....

Type 2 Diabetes: Grain Fibre Seems to Lower Risk

clipped from www.medica.de According to a study a higher dietary intake of fibre from grains and cereals is associated with a lower risk of type 2 diabetes. Fibre may help reduce the risk of diabetes by increasing the amount of nutrients absorbed by the body and reducing blood sugar spikes after eating, among other mechanisms. In the meta-analysis, the researchers identified nine studies of fibre and eight studies of magnesium intake. Based on the results of all the studies, in which participants were classified into either four or five groups according to their intake of fibre or magnesium, those who consumed the most cereal fibre had a 33 percent lower risk of developing diabetes than those who took in the least, while those who consumed the most magnesium had a 23 percent lower risk than those who consumed the least. There was no association between fruit or vegetable fibre and diabetes risk.

Diabetes

clipped from healthspectator.com Patients taking Avandia, an oral diabetes drug from GlaxoSmithKline, proved 43 percent more likely to have heart attacks in a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Higher death rates accompanied the greater heart attack rates, researcher Steven Nissen, chair of cardiology at the Cleveland Clinic reported, along with associate Kathy Wolski.

How to cope with Depression....

I HAVE TO GET READY !!!!!!

Karkey cat

Cartoon

Diabolic in the tub.....

Pictures

Animals

How addicted tp coffee are you? take the quiz...

I am 35% Addicted to Coffee

Canadians not Stupid?

pain in the back? EXERCISE

clipped from fununlimited123.blogspot.com Most of us sit in a single position for the whole day in the office, and in the morning / evening drive all the way to our places. As a result at night, while going to bed, many of us experience a slight pain in the back. DON'T IGNORE IT AT ALL.....this may lead to many further diseases and disabilities as well.... Don't panic, just do the following exercise for min 10 minutes every morning and shoot off the back pain.

Cartoon

Lost dog!!!!

Birdy

Ljveen dog nr4

Beer Prayer

Pictures

100 x rated oklahoma or Okie

The proper way to pronounce Oklahoma is Okla -- Homa
(there's a pause between the A and the H)

See the reason below:

Now you got it!!!!

Cartoons

Happy b-day STARGZER

Your Birthdate: May 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head. You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking. People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right. You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself. Your strength: Your original approach to thinking Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others Your power color: Pale blue Your power symbol: Wavy line Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Beautiful Fantasy Images and Illusions

clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com Reflections of the Mind clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com clipped from www.thegreatillusion.com